The pictures we take at Christmastime don’t tell the whole story, do they?
They don’t show the big sigh, the shake of the head, the pitiful look, the disgusted glare, all culminating in an angry rant about how,
“After all I’ve done to make this Christmas special, you guys just sit around bickering and complaining and watching TV while I do everything. I mean, seriously, not even a ‘Thank you,’ or a ‘Mom, what can I do to help?’ And as for you, Honey, I couldn’t be less impressed with this last minute gift you purchased from the drug store on Christmas Eve. Seriously? After 4 kids, 8 years of homeschooling and 12 years of marriage… (sigh) And I’m NOT going with you and the kids to your mother’s. She never liked me anyway.”
That’s just not a merry Christmas folks.
So let’s spare our families the drama this year. Here are 3 ways to avoid martyr syndrome this Christmas:
1. Only do as much as you can do joyfully.
Don’t do a single thing this year that you can’t do with a smile. If that means PB&J sandwiches for Christmas dinner, so be it. At least your family will eat in peace.
Instead of mumbling under your breath about your children as you cook and clean, invite them to help you. Yes, even if takes twice as long and doesn’t meet your standards.
And while you’re at it, please, PLEASE, control your inner control freak. Whatever you do, don’t succumb to the temptation to reposition the Christmas ornaments or put the homemade ornaments on the back of the tree!
2. Give to yourself.
No, I’m not talking about the gift of accepting your faults and imperfections. I mean, go buy yourself something, wrap it, put it under the tree, and spare your husband the pouty, forlorn looks, or even worse – the crocodile tears.
Get yourself a gift card, pajamas, cute undies, house shoes, a coffee mug, a book, a CD, nail polish, boots, clothing, jewelry, chocolate or anything else that will bring a smile to your face on Christmas morning.
My husband is hit or miss when it comes to gifts, but I always come through for myself. “Oh, Carletta… I love it! Really. You shouldn’t have!”
3. Count your blessings.
I know it sounds trite, but there really are many people all over the world who would love to have your ungrateful kids, messy house, unhelpful husband, crazy inlaws and burnt turkey dinner.
Every time you are tempted to open your mouth to complain, give thanks.
“Thank you for these precious children who I’ve told for the bazillionth time to stop complaining and be thankful.”
Or even better, just replace whatever was going to come out of your mouth with, “I am so blessed and I am grateful.”
Seriously. Try it.
Count your blessings one by one, my friends.
And follow this link to download my free Guide to a Stress-Free Christmas!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you so much for this reminder. I will remember to say “I am so blessed and I am grateful.”
And I will pick myself up a little something …. maybe some good chocolate. Happy Holidays.
Love it! I can totally relate to the “rant.” I know God has to work on my attitude of gratitude first, so I can be an example to my kids – thanks for the reminder!
Completely agree! Very well said. Happy to have found you through the Hop today.
Love your post. Especially number 2. That would save a lot of hurt feelings. I too have a list for a more peaceful Christmas. As for the Christmas dinner my husband likes cooking it so I am more then happy to bow out, otherwise it would likely be similar to PB&J Thanks for the guide.
Excellent advice! Thanks for sharing it!
I know this…all too well! I let my thoughts drift to the reason for the season to realign my attitude. Thanks for sharing this!
-Nancy
Thank you for your wise Christmas tips, especially the one about giving yourself a gift. You have eased my holiday guilt.